On Writing, Writing Romance

He hates erotic romance

My boyfriend is repulsed erotic romance (which I write, by the way)

Well, damn, I thought then stopped myself

He’s one of my favorite people, and erotic romance is one of my favorite things. If I don’t try to change his mind, or at least convince him that the genre isn’t despicable, what the hell is passion all about?

People are put off when others doesn’t like the same things they do. Dating profiles emphasize favorite music, tv, and hobbies. In the current social and political climate, having the “wrong” opinion could see you unfriended, attacked, or ostracized.

My boyfriend admitted he doesn’t know much about the genre, and I explained the range of sexual content—from all-out smut to sweet, in which the characters kiss and which maybe acknowledges that the hero has a penis. He said he would prefer the latter.

There are a handful of skills I love and that I’m confident enough about to boast I’m good at. Writing sexy is one of my particular talents. And I mean beyond hand holding and ardent embraces. I think it came to me naturally, and I’ve honed and pursued it.

When you love something, you want other people to love it, too. It’s natural to want the most important people in your life to appreciate your passions.

His dislike is not a personal attack. If he didn’t like me, he wouldn’t have listened to my defense of the genre.

I’m with him because of who he is, not because of what he likes or doesn’t like. I don’t want to change him. He’s fundamentally honorable, creative, intelligent, and giving. You’ll never know a person’s essence if you stick your nose up at their sports jersey or radio station. I hope he’ll learn to like my stories, but I’m happy that he’s willing to give them a chance.



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